Ian, I've had the same problem with the holders in my SP-445; more so with Foma film, not so much with others. Years ago, when I try developed both 5x4 and 10x8 I followed this sequence:
1. Place each sheet of film, emulsion
up, one at a time into a pre-soak water bath; use fingers to push the film under the water (more important with 10x8 than 5x4.)
2. Shuffle the film by pulling the lower sheet out and placing it on top, being careful when you do the pull to avoid the corners of the upper film; again, use fingers to push under. Pre-soak for about 3 - 5 mins. I never found the time here to be critical.
3. When ready to move to the developer tray, grab the entire stack, carefully lift out of water, and drain for a few seconds. Drop into developer tray and proceed as above. My sequence/timing was to be handling only the total number of sheets that I could shuffle through in 30 secs. I'd go through the stack twice, then turn 90 degrees, shuffle twice, turn 90 degrees, etc.
4. When development complete, move on to stop and fix.
Once you practice a bit, the process will become fluid and easy. I never damaged a negative. I will warn you, though, that in my experience totally even development is/was a pipe dream. For most negatives I processed at the time, slight mottling or slightly higher edge density didn't matter due to the content of the image. However, skies was another matter. Like Joe, I eventually got a Jobo with Expert Drums and never looked back; until recently when I've started experimenting with different development techniques using Pyrocat-HD.
You may want to look at the B&W King tank available via eBay. It's not cheap, but, overall, I've been fairly happy with mine. And, it doesn't put holes/scrapes/etc in your emulsion!